Fascination with Time

The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.
But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.
In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.
In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.- by W. H. Auden

Auden wrote about time like many others have, though I think he captured the mystery that is time more succinctly than most. And here I have always been accused of being obssessed with time. So aware of the years, months, days that pass, feeling as if they are being wasted away in useless pondering which reap nothing in the end (hello blog!).

Maybe it fascinates because we all want to make this life truly ours, to make these hours count for something...That it is not about conquering time, but realizing that time marks our life...the start, the end. That it's with time human relationships are formed, and with time we drift apart. And how we move so gradually from childhood to adolescence to adulthood.

For me, I just hope to live a life such that at the end, I know I have lived fully. My life was more than just a tedious collection of hours...It was painful, fun confusing, simple, complicated, etched with heartache and love.

A stilled moment

I took a picture, perfectly stilled a moment in my life that should never end. And in this moment there is only you and me and the rare silence of my mind. Contentment. I want to lie in those arms a little longer, my safe haven from the reality I’ve grown to despise. But in this moment, I am without worry, without pain. And reaching out for the comfort of your hands again. The sound of your subdued breath calms me, and all seems right in the world.

High (in more ways than one)

Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see with you.
Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end of time?
Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me -High by James Blunt

I love love love this song. He just sounds so sincere singing it...The wonderful imagery it concocts in the mind, a beautiful morning, across the ocean shores with the person you love.

I listened to this song continuously on my plane ride to London. It was dark, all the other passengers were asleep, and I sat by the window, looking out into the seemingly endless dark sky, with a glass of tawny port in one hand, and my pen in the other, eagerly scribbling down whatever words my mind had to offer, into my faithful companion..my diary. Feeling all alone floating way above the clouds, it's one of the few times when I took so much comfort in my own solitude. Call me morbid, but all I could think of was that if I died at that moment, I would die happy.